escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
im holly from the hills drunk
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
