paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The air was thick with penises
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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