come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
