She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize