Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
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what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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