Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
