yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize