Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
