new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
