But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
