That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
