what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
