The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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