I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
