mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
