just come out here and I will go home with you...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
