btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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