I wish my penis had an off switch
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
