I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
