Kiss
Puke
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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