please come you make the beer taste better
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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