the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize