i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
