are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
