drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
