I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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