Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
