I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize