we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
