that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
