i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Drunk is not a location!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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