I can't watch pbs sober anymore
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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