i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
