I wannas sexs uuuuu
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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