Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
