Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He felt like a one man threesome
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
