dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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