STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I love you. Go after that dick
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize