There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
