i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
