I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
