i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
