at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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