he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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