so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
