Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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