to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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