When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How naked do you want me to be?
Come on in and take your pants off
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