Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
