I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
