i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
