You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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