i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
