Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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