Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
