belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
