was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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