I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
