I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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