brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
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