FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
