Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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