You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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